Tasha,
Sometimes I have no idea who you are anymore. I see you pretend to everyone and sometimes, you almost believe it. You smile and laugh and play life’s games… but deep inside you’re broken. Your heart isn’t even sure if it’s in one piece and beating. But it must be because you’re still alive and breathing. Why? You ask yourself this all the time. Why Me? Why are I still here? Why am I tattered and broken? Why Can’t I be fixed? Why am I so misunderstood? Why am I so lost? Why won’t anyone find me? Why is everything in my life so fucking hard? Will it end? Will I finish my daze in my make believe haze? The sad part is I have no answers for you. Who would miss you if you died today? I don’t know that for sure either.
I do know that right now you feel like life is pointless. I know the road that you’ve journeyed. I realize it’s hard to open yourself up, it’s hard for you to trust. Maybe you have been broke one time too many. I know you carry a secret that weighs heavy on your shoulders. I know that sometimes it eats at your insides… maybe someday you’ll have the guts to tell someone. Until then you’ll carry this darkness with you and taunt yourself. I know you’re afraid, I know you feel like your body is your own flesh cage of a prison. I know you cry with relief and freedom as you watch your self inflicted wounds bleed. I guess in the end it is just you and me. I realize that it is hard to hear, and hard to admit, but at least I am the only one that truly knows you.
I am you. Even though you try to hide me.
